#it was my ultimate ME3 song

[mercymaker]

godddd when you realize that your top shenko song also works for malstarion

[wildflowercleaver]

As I listen to a few songs that evoke memories of mass Effect 2 & 3, I can't help but think that the assassin Kai Leng deserved to be a squadmate in the me2 and potentially me3. In my opinion, he should have been a major character, loyal to Cerberus and despising the Alliance, with a unique backstory that could be explored like that of other squadmates.

Kai's solitary persona on the Normandy, coupled with his distrust of the crew, would make for a captivating character arc. However, I can envision various scenarios that would facilitate the gradual development of Kai's friendships and eventual respect for his human and alien colleagues, and particularly his commanding officer. Initially holding a belief in human superiority, Kai's character growth could involve overcoming his prejudices and learning to respect other species and be basically a lot less radical in his beliefs.

There are numerous reasons why Kai might be working for Cerberus again after the end of me2. For instance, it's possible that the Illusive Man has taken control of his mind in some manner, even if loyalty to Shepard had been established previously. Alternatively, Kai could have died or been abandoned and left for dead by the crew during the suicide mission in me2 and been presumed dead and gone forever, only to be resurrected by Cerberus and implanted with a "control chip" that Shepard should have received from Miranda.

Moreover, I find the idea of a renegade romance option with Shepard quite intriguing. The ultimate betrayal and backstabbing that Kai Leng perpetrates in me3 would be all the more poignant if players had the option to engage in a romantic relationship with him previously. Not only does Kai target his own colleagues, but he also sets his sights on Shepard, the one person who made him feel truly loved and cared for in a way he had never experienced before. Don't you think it would add a deliciously complex dimension to the story? I sure as hell do.

[swaps55]

7 for every part of Opus! 🥰 (Just the main parts, not the multiverse. I wanna know about the muuuusic 🤩)

Oooh, fun!

Writing Ask Meme.

7: Where did the title come from?

Originally, Opus was going to be a single fic. (What is now Cantata was going to be about 4 chapters - cue laughter). I wanted it to be a series of mini-stories that followed a playlist, each chapter themed to a different song, charting the arc of Shepard and Kaidan's relationship. If the chapter titles were going to be based around song titles, I thought it would be neat to name the main fic after a form of music. Initially I picked Concerto, not because it was a thematic fit, but because there was a racehorse in the late 90s I really liked named Concerto. XD

Then the Fake Dating Disaster Fic happened, which was not part of the plan at all. And it needed a name. As I was still thinking about it as an AU, I wanted to pick another form of music for the title. I can't remember how I landed on Sonata, but it just felt like the right fit, so I went with it.

When I finally caved and admitted Sonata was too important not to be part of the "canon" fic, I decided to break the whole thing into pieces, and went to work renaming all the parts. So choosing the names for each story came down to looking up different forms of music (this is not something I am inherently knowledgeable about), and making unscientific choices based on what felt right, and/or what had a meaning that was a loose thematic fit. So I ultimately landed on (with links to respective playlists):

Cantata (pre-ME1)

Concerto (ME1)

Sonata (post-ME1)

Fugue (Alchera + 2 year gap)

Mezzo (ME2)

Requiem (ME3)

Nocturne (post-ME3)

Cadenza (Multiverse AU)

(The playlists for Mezzo-Nocturne have very WIP playlists - the outlines are a mess right now, and Cadenza's playlist kind of "unofficial" at the moment, since I don't really know what Cadenza is yet.)

And since I needed a series name, I went with Opus, as the series is definitely my magnum opus. :D

[stillwinterair]

Engaging with Mass Effect 1 unlocks Secret Emotions that I cannot get anywhere else.

The feeling of landing on an uncharted world. Of walking around the Citadel and doing quests. Of being snowed in at Port Hanshan on Noveria. Of walking around the Normandy, so dim and quiet, like everybody's getting ready for bed but aren't quite ready to lay their heads yet. Of finding the Prothean relic on Eletania, and watching through the eyes of a stone age human observed by Protheans. Of speaking to Sovereign for the first time. Of speaking to Vigil. Of the climax to the geth side quest, and hearing the mournful broadcast of the geth honoring their creators, which totally recontextualizes everything you've seen of them so far. Of solving affairs for far-flung colonists and scouts, eking out their livings on distant, hostile worlds. Of tracking a conspiracy all the way down, to the death of Admiral Kahoku and beyond, picking up the trail of some mysterious group known only as Cerberus.

The clanking sounds of your boots on the metal floor of a prefab building, the dim light glimmering on thickly-molded glass, of the eerie, whispering song that plays on uncharted worlds. The rolling, metallic sound of superheated rounds rolling out of an assault rifle, and the lament of Vigil, and the poetic calm of Uncharted Worlds. The sense that no one has stood where you're standing in billions of years, and maybe no one ever will again. The sense that something is wrong, that nothing in your journey is quite adding up, and the ultimate revelation of the Reapers completely changing your worldview and adding an existential, apocalyptic crisis to your periphery, doom impending who-knows-when -- now, if you don't stop it, and if you do? Then when? They're coming regardless. What can you do to prepare? What will you sacrifice? What alliances will you build, or break?

Every single one of these moments just Does Something to me, and there is a particular something about the design of ME1 that feels both comfortingly at home, and so cosmically horrifying as to excite me and spur me along.

ME1 is one of those games that, I really don't want to erase my memory of to play with fresh eyes, because as good as the first time was, the second was better, and the third even better, and so on. I've played all the way through it well over a dozen times since 2007 and I still get so excited even thinking about its various twists and turns. I play through it like once a year to experience that atmosphere, more than anything else. It feels like home more than maybe any other game I've ever played. New Vegas is close, but something about Mass Effect... it's a world I want to live in; I know the whole game by heart, but the Citadel especially -- I know where every Keeper is intrinsically, I know when every side quests pops up. The Wards on the Citadel and Port Hanshan on Noveria are like, my mental happy places. Even though Noveria is a corporate hellhole, once again, it's just the atmosphere of it. I can practically feel the cold creeping in from the outside.

The rest of the series never quite recaptured The Magic for me. ME2 gets close a number of times, but the dramatically smaller hub space and the reorienting of locations to being more like strip malls and less like actual places really fucked with me. I love parts of ME2; Illium and Omega almost feel real. Certain side quests broaden the universe beautifully. But the complete shift in narrative focus, and this abrupt change from a dimly-lit, soft-edged atmosphere to the blinding brightness of ME2's stark aesthetic sensibilities did not mesh with me, nor did the switch to cover-shooting first and foremost, nor did the complete refocusing of the entire plot away from the Reapers and onto, like... some of their pawns? For the entire game? The complete lack of actual exploration ultimately did it in for me, though, and this was only compounded in ME3, where everything just feels like strip malls and shooting galleries.

But ME1... there's this perfect gem of an idea in that game. It's rough and unpolished, and I think needed a lot more work to make the combat feel dynamic and to make the squad feel like family, but it was heading in a beautiful direction, and I still feel like we never got the series that game's potential had promised.

[dianapocalypse]

Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian 

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if  you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy 

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal 

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control 

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy 

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

[lilacsolanum]

Who was your Shepard? What ending did they choose? Did it remind you much of the end of Animorphs?

Did you just– did you just give me an excuse to rant about my Mass Effect experience? WELL THANK YOU!

My Shepard was a fierce dark skinned woman with a penchant for a heavy eyeliner and a dark lip. She originally had a stern bun but I DID give her a haircut between ME2 and ME3 for the drama and she had a buzzcut. She ran around in a hoodie 24/7 and was my butch qween. I named her Ms Nesbit in ME1, but ME1 didn’t understand the space so she ended up being Ms Shepard which honestly was ideal. She was from the tragic Midnoir, and had the “soul survivor” psychological profile. I was absolutely role-playing her, giving her a strong “bright clear line” ruthless and practical moral code. She had. SO many renegade points. It was mostly a renegade play through, but I was always bros with my crew. Well. The crew members I liked. I killed someone on purpose in the suicide mission like. Bye.

I played these games blind and it was the best, not knowing how my choices would play out, not knowing what was coming next.

When I played the ending it was, like, 4 AM and I just wanted to be done so I could focus on writing and not be haunted by my love of this great video game I wanted to play all the time. So like. I wasn’t comprehending anything really, and Shepard was moving SO slowly, and I just went toward the pillar because it was shiny. TECHNICALLY I chose Synthesis, which was the cheesiest and worst ending.

I WANTED to choose Destroy, and would have if I was less of a sleepy bitch. Destroy was what we set out to do, and I don’t think the consequences of the literal universe existing beyond “the cycle” were going to be THAT bad. The Geth chilled out. Everyone calm down. Let’s rebuild.

Because I played a “war is hell, bright clear line” Shepard, the ending with her death DID feel right to me. It WAS very Animorphs-ish. Not everyone makes it out of war. Not everyone survives. But I understand why people hated it, especially if you played paragon. Like I told someone else, then the ending of ME is like if Sailor Moon ended with the gruesome death of Sailor Moon. Really, the thing that reminded me the most of Animorphs was the Krogans.

I wrote out, like, my entire play through under the cut because I was feeling myself and because I have SO MUCH TO SAY and played this video game like ten years after it came out so I only had one other person screaming with me. I (somewhat) restrained my boundless energy on their behalf. Cav is a patient soul.

In ME1, I killed the Rachni queen, because even if she was serving me some buckwild nonsense about songs and the general plot of Ender’s Game I was like bye gurl bye, your race died. It’s dead. It’s far too traumatizing for too many people to bring y'all back. Also, you are litterly a giant spider, absolutely not, no no, do not want, please leave.

I primarily ran Wrex and Kaidan because I very much enjoyed Kaidan’s idealistic banter where he’s just impressed with literally everything and then checking in on Wrex who was just bitter and full of hate. Wrex became my favorite character. I LIVE for a grumpy old man. I got his family armor and managed to chill him out on Virmire on the first choice, which was AMAZING, because I later looked up the other outcomes and found out Ashley would kill him and I would have been TRAUMATIZED. I zoomed in on Ashley being a racist and peaced her out, keeping my boy Kaidan around for another two games.

I accidentally romanced Liara even if I wanted to romance Kaidan, but I WAS flirting with them both for a bit (though I ultimately didn’t get the scene where they both confront me). I also slept with that random Asari lady.

I chose to kill the council in the end. It was the better choice for humanity. We needed to do something big to prove that we’re here, we’re not going away, and we’re just as important as the rest of you.

ME2 is just like Making Friends: The Video Game. Which was honestly so fun, I loved that it was an entire game devoted to character storytelling? I let Garrus break a dude’s legs, but I did not let him kill that man, even if I let him kill the guy in ME1. It honestly felt like letting that dude live was shittier. I killed the heretic Geth because, like, they’re machines, they’ve already been possessed by Reapers, they’re fine. I understand that Legion was doing it’s whole Breq thing but most Geth are just part of a whole. I was fine with it. I had enough Renegade points when I did Tali’s mission to allow her to be proven innocent without revealing her father’s treason, which I’m super glad I did because of it’s effects on ME3. The rest of the missions I basically just went renegade for the points. I loooved Thane, Miranda, and Grunt, fell deeper in love with Garrus and Tali, didn’t spend enough time with Legion but again, I saw the whole individual sentience storyline unfolding and appreciated it, Jack I liked ironically because Oh Boy Everything About Her (LOVED her in ME3 though), and Samara and Jacob were THUMBS DOWN.

And then Mordin. Holy shit. What an amazing character. First of all, he’s the best, second of all, he busts out in a musical number, third of all, his mission is SO BEAUTIFUL AND COMPLEX. But. I ended up destroying both Maelon’s data and Maelon himself.

The genophage was population control, not genocide, and while it’s a harsh method it was the kindest solution at the time. The Krogan really remind me of the Yeerks, actually. When it was pointed out that they were given technology before they had culture, I was like, yes, YES, my favorite children’s books series addressed this SAME THING! And like Yeerks, absolutely, I recognize that some Krogans were good, that they didn’t have the same bloodthirst as others, that they saw a better future. Wrex was one of those Krogans. Wrex had power. But was that enough power? How very easy would it be for a rogue group of Krogans to hide away, procreate, get strong, and go to war with the Urdnots. How very easy would it be to destroy the efforts of one man. It was idealistic to think that just because Wrex had influence, that the entirity of the Krogan race could be changed. Ms Shepard made a hard choice, but she did what she had to do.

Also, my renegade zombie face was fucking hilarious, the drama, the theatrics. When I came back from some mission with red eyes I laughed so much. What a choice. What an amazing choice Bioware made with that. I probed the planets and fixed my busted mug, but not after enjoying my glowing scars and bags under my eyes for a MINUTE.

I two timed Garrus and Thane for a minute, but ultimately I went with Garrus, because I texted my BFF, a normal person who does not write or read about alien fucking, with a photo of the two and he immediately replied with “zaddy with the scope for sure” and it was decided. Thane did call me sita for a hot minute and it was very very sweet. Oh and you knoooooow I flirted with Kelly Chambers HARD.

I played the suicide mission blind and I have this weird habit of overestimating video games when they are CLEARLY telling me what to do and trying to outsmart them, so I somehow lost Thane, Garrus, and Mordin. I broke my rule about not going back on any choice and replayed it to save everyone’s asses, except for Jacob Taylor, who I killed on purpose. No regrets.

And then shit went DOOOOOOOOWN in ME3.

First of all, fuck EDI’s robot body. I was already shipping her with Joker and in no way did they need a physical form, it’s called IMAGINATION. I might write a fic where EDI as a ship’s AI instructs Joker on how to get himself off, Dom style. *I* know how to write an AI/human romance without a robot that has FUCKING HIGH HEELS??? No. Nope. Also, why the hell does literally every male squadmate have to call her hot. What was the point. WHAT WAS THE REASON. WHAT WAS THE REASON BITCH.

I immediately went to deal with the Krogan genophage because I knew some shit was about to go on. This whole thing ended up being maybe one of my absolute favorite story experiences, ever.

It starts happening. Wrex rolls up. He is PISSED at me. He is saying he wished he killed me in Virmire, the first time I blocked a genophage cure. It’s heartbreaking. I loved him so much, and he’s SO ANGRY, and he has every right to be.

Mordin starts his research. Eve is there, she’s fucking ICONIC, her and her 50-year-old diner waitress smoker voice. Poor unfortunate goddamn soul, YES. I love her. But I also doomed her by destroying Maelon’s data.

Then the Salarian talks to me. And I know I’ve chosen this stance for Ms Shepard and that I’m not going back on it. When she says “You stop Mordin from spreading the cure, no matter what” I already knew what was going to happen. It’d been spoiled for his death, yes, but damn. The way it went down.

The first thing that happened that made me go “holy shit” was when we were all flying toward Tuchanka and I had an option to tell everyone about the sabotage. I actually took it. Even if I had this storyline, I had this moment of like, okay, I love these characters, I love Mordin and he’s so happy to redeem himself, I have to tell my friends about what the Salarian wants to do. And I chose that option AND I AM INTERRUPTED AND DON’T GET THE WORDS OUT. I mean WHAT a fucking amazing detail. When the option came back again, to lie to my friends or tell them the truth, I lied.

Watching to confrontation go down with Mordin just destroyed me. The voice actors killed it. I told Maelon about the sabotage. It was so fucking emotional. “I MADE A MISTAKE! I made a mistake. I focused on the big picture. Big picture made of little pictures.” Just. Holy shit. And I knew what was about to happen and what I would have to do, and even if it was a video game, I was IN IT. It was the fact that the renegade interrupt was in slow motion that absolutely got me. That there was extra time to think about it, to let him go. I closed my eyes and hit my mouse trigger and Shepard shot Mordin. The way she walked off and threw her gun to the side was devastating. And then the game made me watch Mordin drag his dying body across the tower to try and get to the controls, saying, “Not yet, not ready, not ready,” which was honestly very rude. And then the cutscene where Wrex looked out on his planet, joy and awe on his face, that was also incredibly rude.

I later watched the paragon version and just. “I’m the very model of a-” SUPER. RUDE.

I knew doing all this meant I would also have to kill Wrex. That wasn’t a spoiler, that’s just logic. So one day I go to the Citadel, lalala, fetch quest fetch quest fetch quest, and then I go back to my ship and BAM. Wrex. How fucking brilliant. There is no moment around his confrontation, no visit to Tuchanka. It hits you when you’re completely off guard. He also called me out on not doing the “Bomb on Tuchanka” mission because I did things out of order. Found Grunt, go cure genophage. I shot Wrex. Bailey would have, but it was my responsibility.

Later, Garrus called me out on everything during his “tough call” scene. I told him what I did. The way he then asks, “Did Mordin just go along with it?” and Shepard just walks off was so good.

So.

All of Legions missions were SO cool. I’m learning I have such a weakness for robots/AIs and sentience. “Do these units have a soul?” Also it’s little inner brain Tron world was great, and how the Geth remember the Quarians who were kind was just beautiful. When it came time to choose between the Geth and the Quarians, I was able to save both. Even if that wasn’t the most renegade-y choice, it came from my original mission statement: bright, clear line. Both forces living meant both forces could fight. The rest of my “storyline” was so super dark that this moment felt really triumphant it my little role play? It reminded me of The Doctor saying “This time, everybody lives!”

The rest of the game was just “How many people can Liana kill?”

When Thane died, he called me sita one more time, even if I didn’t commit to him, and it BROKE MY FUCKING HEART. What a great detail to bring back one last time. When Bioware is on, it is ON. 

When Samara held a gun to her head I was just like “See ya later alligator.” What a boring character. btw, the whole Morinth thing could have been SO cool but ended up so lame. I didn’t have enough renegade points to get her and I don’t even care. Bye. I didn’t give Miranda Alliance support so SHE died. That was sad. Grunt survived because my baby boy was loyal, but he might have died since I didn’t deal with the bomb. I was supposed to get a poorly spelled message from him according to the internet, and I never did, so uhhhh oops. Sorry, my son. Kaidan didn’t die during his little freak out because we were besties.

When Liara asked me if we were still dating, I said yes, then I immediately went to Garrus and he asked me if we were still dating and I ALSO said yes, then I flirted with James Vega and Samantha Traynor a lot. Eventually, during Garrus’s personal quest, he asked me if I was ready to be a one Turian kind of woman. I said no and he took the rejection well. Then I went to see Kaidan, and he told me he had feelings, and I locked in with him. I love the idea of Kaidan, who is kind of sheltered and idealistic, attempting to protect and soothe this war torn woman, while accepting the darkness of war himself and questioning his place in it. I loved the idea of us breaking apart, but brief grounded moments with one another. Plus Garrus never even seemed THAT into me, like, yeah you’re awkward bro but idk give me a cute nickname or SOMETHING, and Liara was boring. Liara was SO PISSED AT ME LMAOOO she used A Tone when I would go visit her in her little office and like stopped talking to me. It was hilarious.

I can’t remember if anything else super relavant happed in ME3. I hated Cortez’s “bury your gays” storyline. Gays can do more than be sad. Samantha Traynor was such an afterthought. I still don’t understand why a femShep couldn’t romance Jack, who is canonically bisexual, and I wish that was an option in ME3. I love that Kaidan came back bisexual, like he was just on his little Barbarella journey. What happeneds on Horizon, stays in Horizon.

I have written too much that no one, if anyone, will read, and I must sleep now before I chose the Symbosis ending again.

[thunderheadfred]

Ten Tracks: Garrus Vakarian

No one asked for this, but here are the 10 most Garrus Vakarian sounding songs on Soundcloud, according to me, Thunderhead Fred, unofficial nobody. And yeah, there’s a decided Shakarian bent to some of these. Cuz hello. I’m trash. Sadly, in limiting myself to legitimate Soundcloud artist profiles I have to omit such flawless Garrus-sounding classics as De Staat’s Pep Talk or Lou Gramm’s Midnight Blue, but despite these notable setbacks, I tried my best.

Black Taxi — House on Fire I feel like this is part of the surefire ice-breaker mix that Garrus plays any time there’s an awkward quiet moment at a party

Kill J — Bullet The ultimate “sidekick who’s secretly in love with their best friend/violent boss” earworm

Celldweller — Good L_ck, Yo_’re F_ucked Title says it all, really.

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour — Major A hip Cowboy Bebop sounding jam that is actually about thinking you’re hot shit until your life blows up in your face (sound familiar?)

Oscillian — It's All In the Reflexes Retro synths, rock guitars, slapping drums, and a crazy siren-fueled breakdown that sounds like a suspended cop getting into fistfights in Chinatown. Good.

Oscillian — Battle Angel Oscillian strikes again. Gloomy vocals mixed with synth-rock motifs that call to mind Archangel’s dark Omega years

The Birthday Massacre — Down Be still my shipper heart. Omega headcanon: this song is sung by that asari rock band Morinth loves. Garrus had buried feelings for Shepard. Upon hearing this in a club on Omega, lots of denial and punching ensues.

Matt Maeson — Grave Digger More Archangel feels. Heavy ones.

Unlike Pluto ft. Why Mona — We Will Rock You A bitter, condemnatory take on the classic Queen song that feels very post-Archangel Garrus to me.

Battle Tapes — Last Resort And Spa I count this as one of my top five Shakarian songs. SO GOOD. Especially for ME3 Official Battle Boyfriend(tm) Garrus.

[cinnamonconangray]

Tagged by @sugabum090 ♥

Rules: Answer the questions in the post and tag some blogs you would like to get to know better 

Name: Róisín

Height: 5′6

Ultimate Bias: Taehyung 

Nicknames: Corrach @awkward-me3 that’s you fault& reesheen, again I blame you

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Favorite fruit: Strawberries or mango

Favorite season: Winter 

Favorite color: Lilac, dodie yellow

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Coffee in the morning, hot cocoa at night 

Favorite animals: Foxes or wolves

Last Tv show I watched: Riverdale? I think, I’ve just been watching anime lately

Last movie I watched: Berlin Syndrome lol don’t even get me started like hoe, read the signs

Dream trip: Staying in a well known haunted house in New Orleans, I know, that’s weird

Number of blankets you sleep with? 1 

Song stuck in my head? Lost BTS

What kind of stuff do I post? Conan Gray, Dodie, aesthetics, Cavetown and BTS sometimes

Last thing I googled?: Did sharks survive the iceage @sugabum090

Following: 145

When did you make this blog? Two months ago lmao

Do you get asks regularly: Nope but I love getting them!

Why did you choose your Url? I love love Conan Gray and all of my others blogs have cinnamon in the Url because i just love cinnamon lol.

Average hours of sleep? like 10 but i go to bed at 6am lol

I wanna know my peeps better! @blessedconangray @galaxiebear @starryvinyls @partlypeachy @brightdodie

Don’t be pressured to do this! Only if you want to :D

[dustiesmasseffect]

Mass Effect Ask Meme

I was tagged a million years ago by @bioware-effect / @thevirdirthara and I have some extra time at work today, so here I am!

Favorite Character? Outside of Shepard (because lbh, that’s a gimme) I’ll go with the clear answer to anyone: Kasumi. There’s so much to her character and yes, I may have a severe case of the head canons with her, but I find her compelling, cheerful, insightful, and ultimately sad. Let’s not forget that this woman held her partner/lover in her arms while he bled out and then manages to be uplifting and supportive of all those around her.

Paragon or Renegade? I play pretty close to Paragon with some Renegade mixed in. I’d say 70/30. Io is proving to be more renegade than I anticipated as I continue to work through ME2 with her again. It’s very difficult for me to be an ass even to fictional characters though.

Favorite class? Vanguard for single player. N7 Fury (Adept) for multiplayer followed closely by Engineer.

War Hero, Sole Survivor, or Ruthless? Io is and has always been a War Hero in game. In her actual story, she’s a War Hero with heavy Sole Survivor implications. She has tons of survivor’s guilt.

Spacer, Colonist, or Earthborn? Earthborn. Always. There’s something to me about leaving this place behind to move on to whatever is out there. IDK, I’m very sentimental about our planet.

Favorite alien? Elcor have always been top on my list of faves.

Favorite planet/location? If I could live on the Citadel now, I totally would. I don’t know the names of a lot of the planets though so I don’t even know if I’d choose one of those instead. >_<

Favorite DLC? Citadel has high place on this list. Stolen Memory for obvious reasons. <3 I actually really like Bring Down the Sky as well. It’s a great addition to ME1.

Favorite weapon? Locust SMG Phaeston Assault Rifle Scorpion Heavy Pistol Carnifex Heavy Pistol Piranha Shotgun

Favorite Shepard/OC? Io’ken Shepard (duh!)

Favorite mission? Recruiting Tali in ME2 Favorite track? Probably Tali’s theme from ME2. I don’t usually listen to single tracks by themselves - I listen to all the soundtracks in one big playlist so it’s hard for me to pull out the names of individual songs.

ME1. ME2 or ME3? ME3 for gameplay (combat roll FTW!) ME2 for story

SR-1 or SR-2? SR-2

I tag all of you that want to do this!

[mordinsolas]

It’s a writer meme!

I got tagged by @garrus-vakarus​ so here we gooooo

1. How many works in progress do you have?

Three and a half? Let’s go with that. The first is a short story that I have to revise for a final project, which is due on Tuesday. The others are all fanfic. One is the post-ME3 longfic for my Soft Stars ‘verse that focuses on Shepard’s relationship with Castis and Solana Vakarian before the mass relays are fixed, while the Normandy is still MIA. Another is a two-part Mass Effect fic with a different Shepard that details a Vakarian-family rescue mission during ME3. (Are you starting to see a pattern here?) The half-fic is an idea I might never actually finish, but have started; basically, the Mass Effect Trilogy and Mass Effect: Andromeda swap casts, and renegade!Shep and Garrus are Sloane and Kaetus. (Yes, I saw that one text post and got super inspired lol)

2. Do you/would you write fan fiction?

NO, how DARE you insinuate that?? I definitely didn’t start writing Song of the Lioness fanfic in 2010, which gave me the fanfic itch.

3. Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

Both are great for different reasons. I love how portable ebooks are, and that I can be out and just decide “oh, I want to read this” and have it up on my phone almost immediately. Paper books are great too though, because I love the weight of them, physically turning pages, and having stuffed bookshelves.

4. When did you start writing?

Whenever I learned to write the alphabet. Writing has always been a hobby of mine, and I’ve found old stories in the attic of my parents’ house that are written on colored construction paper and tied together with yarn. I started young and never really stopped.

5. Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

Not really? In my last fandom, I had a few people to share fic with before I posted it and sometimes had a beta reader, but it’s been a couple of years. IRL, I have Issues with showing people writing, fanfic or original, so mostly I just share with people on the internet.

6. Where is your favorite place to write?

At my desk, alone. I don’t write well around other people, and if I’m too cozy, I end up doing something else.

7. Favorite book as a child?

I was one of those Harry Potter kids lmao. I still am, really. Going really far back, Goodnight Moon was a hit.

8. Writing for fun or publication?

For fun! I’d love to be published one day and that is the Ultimate Goal, but I’m also super busy, my degree has nothing to do with writing, and to publish original content, you need to write original content. I made the flip from writing mostly original to writing mostly fanfic about five years ago, so I’d need to get back on that train.

9. Have you taken any writing classes?

Several! This semester I’m wrapping up my English minor with a fiction writing workshop, and I’ve taken two of those in the past as well. I’ve learned some good stuff, but I’ve also found that it’s hard to be a sci-fi/fantasy writer in those kinds of classes because they’re so obsessed with being “literary” to the point where I’ve been told that it’s impossible to have any good characters in sci-fi for fantasy because they’re so plot-driven. (I did not like my first fiction writing professor.)

10. What inspired you to write?

I’m a daydreamer. I daydream so much that it might as well be my #1 hobby. Writing is turning those daydreams into something semi-productive.

I don’t really know who else to tag so if you want to do it just say I tagged you. I’ll even retroactively add you to this post lmao. I’d love to see other responses!